The Secrets of How to Avoid Breakup in a Relationship!
Avoiding breakup in our relationships depends on the strength of our apology and the wiliness to be selfless and not self centered. Apologies happen—sometimes multiple times a day. We apologize when we unintentionally say something hurtful to love ones, when we make a mistake at work, home, school, infidelity, lies, or when we bump into somebody on the street. And then there are the bigger apologies—those that we should have addressed months or years ago failure of which has led to breakups, loss of confidence, breach of trust. Maybe we said something to alienate someone we have judged too quickly or did something that we regret. Saying, “I'm sorry”, remains one of the hardest things to do. We justify our actions, we present half-apologies, we blame the one we’ve hurt, or we expect something in return.
Yet a true and sincere apology can clear the air and potentially heal or sweeten a sour relationship. So what are the secrete of saying a candid apology and make love ones wish they never pick a quarrel but love you more for what you did.
Action and Inaction: Taking responsibility for what you did intentionally or unintentionally
Cohesion of Intellect and Emotions: It’s easy to say “I’m sorry,” but meaning it is another story. A true apology occurs when the heart and head are in alignment, when you intellectually and emotionally accept the responsibility for causing another person pain, even if you’ve done it unintentionally. Becoming accountable for your actions and inaction's is the foundation of an honest apology.
Write Before Speaking: If you are struggling to find the right words, write your apology down first. Writing gives you the space and time to see how you really feel—for instance, you’ll discover whether you are truly sorry or whether you harbor any lingering hostility toward the person. Its important to deal with these feelings before approaching the one you’ve hurt, or you may reopen the conflict.
No Quid Pro Quo:
A true apology is a selfless act—an apology is insincere when it is about wanting (forgiveness, attention,) and not about giving. If you hurt a loved one with words or actions, take a moment to accept your role in what has happened and to imagine how you would feel if the same was done to you. At that point you can begin to make an apology that requires nothing from the one who is receiving it. Keep it simple: “I understand that I really hurt you and I want you to know that I am truly sorry.”
Avoid Responding Defensively: When you apologize you are tapping into humility by acknowledging your weaknesses and recognizing the grace of another human being. For example, if a friend tells you that you hurt her feelings by saying something insensitive, acknowledge the slip without becoming defensive or blaming (i.e. “I thought you wanted me to be honest with you!” or “You always speak like that to me”). When it’s time to apologize experiment with something like this, “I didn’t realize that my words were so hurtful, but I can see now how they must have stung. I truly am sorry that I caused you any pain.”
Have a Genuine Intention:
Be sure to clarify the intention of your apology—even when the person you’ve hurt is not open to receiving your words. Ask yourself if you truly are sorry that you’ve inflicted pain and when the answer is “yes,” work to find the appropriate words to illustrate your feelings. Regardless of the words you choose, your true intention will shine through—so be honest with yourself before approaching another with an apology.
By making something right with someone else, we are also making things right within ourselves... to be continue www.gaiusodiase.blogspot.com
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